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Tuesday, June 13, 2006

    Sometimes I just don't understand what is it that my mum wants out of me? There are times I feel that whatever I do can never be enoguh for her nor can she be satisfied...I'm tired of guessing whether the things that I do is up to her standard or will it the right thing to do? I don't know what else to do.

    Recently, she said that she wants me to find a job a.s.a.p! But today when I got home from an interview and told her that I told the interviewer I'm available anytime if I got selected for the job, she laugh it off saying,"pandai-pandai je anytime". And I was like,"ape sey"? Which one is it does she want?

    On one hand she wants me to work while on the other hand she wants me to stay at home and help her. I don't mind helping her afterall it's part of my responsibility too, but till how long am I gonna stay at home and help her? I have my own life too. She keeps telling me that I'm too dependant on her. If she don't let me go out & experience the world myself how am I gonna build my confidence and be self-independant??? If I tell her what I feel or express my concern, she will say something that will make me feel all guilty with her words. Then, if I tried talking back at her, I'll be an ungrateful daughter and also its sinful to talk back to our parents in Islam, espescially to our mother. But how can I get my msg across to her & expressing to her my thoughts without being call a bad daughter?

    I think that was it and I had enough. I can't control my feelings anymore and I cried myself in my room. It doesn't change a thing because she still don't seem to understand and I'm still confused not knowing whether I'm doing the right thing. Atleast I feel abit better after crying & my tears are all I have.


    p.s. All I wanted was to have a shoulder to lean on and for you to lend a listening ear to me but you don't seem to care & I think its true when they say that you are a less caring person.



    HAPPY 2OTH BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAR BROTHER!

    May you'll always succeed in the future and stay strong through the hardships in life! Lurve ya!


    p.s. Please don't take it to heart about today's event. Have more patience, okay?
♥ ana-ed @ 1:50 AM ♥












Me, MySelf & I
Name: Siti Farhana Jumat
also known as ANA
Born on: Jan 18th '85
Write to me @
leemissen_ana@hotmail.com
View me @
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about Me
CAPRICORN. Simple lady.
JellyBeans craze. Chocolate lover.
Coffee is the ultimate caffeine.

my Love
::I love my FAMILY, my life support forever.
Having strong faith in ALLAH to keep me sane.
FRIENDS who are always there,
painting RAINBOWS after a STORM.

:: Music, Food, Movies &
SHOPPING (retail therapy!)!!!

:: Hanging out with my LOVE ones,
somewhere peaceful to relax myself.



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